I was driving home one day and read this bumper sticker, “Don’t believe everything you think”.  I started reflecting on the thoughts that shape my life, and the meaning I give to thoughts that come in the form of frustration, judgment, fear and anxiety.

That got me thinking about our spiritual formation, our struggle to seek God’s will in our life’s journey, and the reality of the unseen warfare with thoughts that come from the evil one which misleads, complicates, and challenges our life.

The Fathers of our Holy Church consider this unseen warfare as a necessary response to the attacks by ‘thoughts’ that come to capture and misdirect our life.  They liken it to ‘invisible invaders’, which are negative thoughts that creep into our mind and slowly begin taking over our life.

You know the feeling.  You had a fulfilling dinner, are truly satisfied and quite full.  Moments later the freezer door mysteriously opens and somehow you serve yourself several scoops of ice cream.  You heard the voice!  Actually, you heard two voices but followed one.  You heard the voice saying, ‘you don’t really need that, you are full, you are trying to lose weight’.  The other voice calmly takes over and says, “you worked hard and deserve a couple scoops, it won’t matter, just do it, its just two scoops, its not a big deal’.

 Or you are invited to take on a challenging project, apply for a new job, or prepare for a difficult exam and the voice creeps in telling you, “you aren’t good enough, you are probably going to fail, you are stupid or a loser, don’t even bother”.

Sometimes these thoughts are subtle, sometimes they scream in your mind getting you to do things you never dreamed of.   This is clearly evident when I talk to people who are addicted to porn, to drugs or alcohol or sex, or work, they all tell me the same thing.  It all started with this little thought, a voice saying, just try this, it doesn’t matter.  Just one time, it isn’t a big deal.  Just one hit, just one magazine, just one quick glance at a porn site, just one drink.  After time these thoughts literally begin a life of its own.  And the ‘one’ time becomes ‘all’ the time.

I remember being invited to teach in the Marriage and Family graduate program at Seattle Pacific University.  I had my job interview and somehow Michelle, the director of the MFT program, thought I would be a good fit to teach this Experiential Therapy class.  She told me I had the job but needed to create a syllabus within the week.  I remember being excited about the opportunity and fearful.  I rarely get headaches but noticed this splitting headache when I got home.

My head was pounding with fear based thoughts: “you are going to fail”, this is a graduate class and you don’t have anything to teach, the students are going to want their money back, they are going to think you are a joke and will laugh at you.  After all you are a son of a poor immigrant shoe shinning father who barely speaks English!”

These negative and fear based thoughts took over!!!  I remember running to bathroom and screamed looking at myself in the mirror.  “Yes, I might fail!  Just maybe they might want their money back, laugh at me, not learn anything, and not invite me back!!!  But just maybe “ I might like the class.  I might learn something.  They might learn something.  They might enjoy the class and I might be invited to come back the following year!!!  After I responded to those negative thoughts with the new possibilities, my headache literally went away.

God never wants us to accept the voice of fear or anger and feel helpless thinking the only recourse we have is to yell, complain, hit something, withdraw, or feel defeated.  We should never settle with the thought of ‘not good enough’ or “stupid’ and run around with a chip on our shoulder.  We should never believe the voice of “why bother”, or “it doesn’t matter”; which deceives us to live in mundane and mediocre relationships never fully experiencing the love of God or the other.

St. Abba Dorotheus says, "Know that if a person is attacked by some thought (anger, fear, anxiety) or is grieved by it and does not acknowledge it, she only strengthens it against herself, that is, she gives the thought itself more strength to attack and torment her.

But if she acknowledges it (anger, fear, anxiety) and begins to struggle (and becomes genuinely curious) and resist the thought and do what is opposed to it, the passion will weaken and will have no power to attack her and bring her sorrow. And later, little by little, striving and receiving help from God, she will overcome the passion itself."

Elder Paisios once said, “we should never, even under the worst circumstances, allow a negative thought to penetrate our soul.  The person who under all circumstances, is inclined to have positive thoughts, will always be the winner, his life will be a constant festivity”.

He also said, “ A good and humble thought can tame the lions, cool the burning furnace and transform it into a heavenly place.  We should face our problems with patience, positive thinking and humility, so we may allow for the grace of God to help us.”

Don’ believe everything you think.  Let’s be mindful and attentive to invite positive and good thoughts that feed our soul and strive to protest and resist against any thought that eats away at our soul!!!

+fr. tom