Questions We All Face
A big question that faces all of us is what should we do with our losses? Is there a way for that which is lost to be found? Can sadness turn to gladness, or mourning lead to dancing? When "weeping lasts for a night time," does joy truly come in the morning?
The truth is not whether we have experienced loss—we all do—but rather how we live our losses. Have we learned to be strong and hide them, or pretend they aren't real? Are we cautious or scared to share them with others? Is there an inner voice convincing us that our losses are little compared with other people's losses?
The Courage to Grieve
You see, we can never get to joy if we dare not cry, if we do not have the courage to weep, if we don't take the opportunity to experience the pain. Many have learned to just ignore their pain, or have been told that being strong means not crying. We are told to get over it, move on. For many, following that recipe breeds bitterness or resentment—hardening our heart for the rest of our life!
I believe that Christ gives us the grace to reach out beyond our fears and embrace the reality of our losses. The invitation is to bear one another's burden with love and compassion. If you have a friend who is in pain or who has lost someone, can you just listen and say, "I love you and will be with you, I want to hear how hard it is. I don't know what to say to you, I don't know what to do about it, but I do want to be with you, and walk with you. I am not afraid"?
A Community of Support
We encourage everyone who has experienced a loss to find healing in Christian community, where we learn that it's better to mourn our losses than to deny them. In community, we dare to feel our losses and grieve them. Together, we name the pain and say, "Yes, we feel real pain, real fear, real loss; and we are going to embrace it and offer that as a gift to those willing to walk with us in that reality."
May we all find the courage to journey into healing together!
+fr. Tom