Marriage: An Icon of Christ and the Church

What is Confession?

Confession is the Mystery in which an Orthodox Christian, in the presence of a priest, names what has wounded his or her relationship with God and receives Christ's forgiveness. It is sometimes called the Mystery of Repentance, because it is less about reciting a list of failures than about turning back toward the One who loves us.

The priest stands beside the penitent, often before an icon of Christ. He is a witness, not a judge. The penitent speaks to Christ; the priest-witness hears the confession in Christ's name and pronounces the prayer of absolution. 

Confession is a Mystery rather than a counseling session, though it can include counsel. Its power comes not from the wisdom of the priest's response but from the action of Christ, who promised His Church the authority to forgive sins (John 20:23).

Why do we confess?

The Orthodox Church understands sin as a wound rather than a crime. The image is medical, not legal. We confess for the same reason we go to a physician: because something is broken and we want it healed.

This shapes the Orthodox understanding of the Mystery. The point is not to be punished, balanced out, or made to feel guilty in proportion to what we have done. The point is to be made well. The traditional language of the absolution prayer makes this explicit; it asks God to reconcile and restore the penitent, not to satisfy a debt. 

This is also why Confession is freely given. In a culture that assumes everything must be earned, God's forgiveness does not carry a price tag. There is nothing we can offer that would make us deserve it, and nothing we have done that places us beyond it. What is required is honesty, not eloquence or performance, and the sincere desire to turn your heart back to Christ and His love.

For the same reason, Confession is not exhausted in a single visit. Repentance in the Orthodox understanding is a direction of life, not an event. We come back to Confession because we keep needing to turn back toward Christ, and because each return is met with the His healing mercy.

How do we confess?

In practice, the Mystery takes a simple form. The penitent kneels before an icon of Christ with the priest alongside him or her. The penitant speaks honestly about what they have done and left undone, what is troubling them, what they want to lay down. The priest may listen quietly, ask a gentle question, or offer pastoral counsel. When the penitent has finished, the priest covers the penitent with his stole and prays the prayer of absolution, declaring God's forgiveness.

A few things worth knowing if you are coming for the first time, or for the first time in a long while:

• There is nothing you can say that will shock or scandalize the priest. This is not because priests are unshockable but because the Mystery is not about the priest at all. The penitent speaks to Christ, and Christ has heard worse from saints.

• You do not need to prepare a comprehensive list. Some find it helpful to write a few notes beforehand, especially after a long gap. Others come and simply speak what is on their heart. Either is fine.

• Confession is private. What is spoken in the Mystery is between the penitent, the priest-witness, and God.

• Your frequency of confession will be determined with your priest. At Holy Apostles, it is typical to confess during each of the four fasting seasons, however there is no "schedule" for confession that applies to every Christian. Fr. Tom can help you find the rhythm that fits your life and your struggles.

To come to Confession at Holy Apostles, contact Fr. Tom directly. He will arrange a time with you. During major fasting seasons (Lent and Nativity), when many people come to confess, there will be a sign-up form you can fill out.

If it has been a long time, or if you have never been to Confession at all, that is reason to come, not reason to delay. Begin by reaching out.

Learn more

For a fuller exploration of the theology and history of Confession, including its place in the Church Fathers and its relationship to the other Mysteries, see our booklet A Guide to Confession (forthcoming).

For further reading we recommend:

• Archimandrite Meletios Webber's Bread & Water, Wine & Oil

• John Chryssavgis's Repentance and Confession in the Orthodox Church

• Fr. Thomas Hopko's The Orthodox Faith, Volume 2: Worship.